Au revoir Bruxelles

You'd think that I'd be good at goodbyes, having moved around so much in my life, but leaving behind a city, the friends I've made and a whole slew of memories from a place where I've had all sorts of experiences is never easy. The only thing that keeps me from crying over my departure is the fact that I've learned that no goodbye, save for death perhaps, has to ever be final, and life can work out in incredible ways to keep you close to those that you want to remain close to, even if the physical distance may be far.




The past week has been full of goodbyes and last visits. While Alberto and Claudio were here last weekend we paid a lot of last visits to our favorite night spots in Brussels. We bought drinks for the last time at Booze and Blues from the seemingly 60-year-old barman who can't add well and always undercharges you for your order and serves you with an unintelligible grunt as you pray that the ashes from the lit cigarette that dangles precariously from his mouth don't fall in your beer. We also spent some time at Goupil Le Fol, the place where the crazy Tunisian owner, who's bar is really just some old grandpa's house filled to the brim with curiosities like stuffed foxes and old vinyl records, once held me hostage and force-fed me his home-made organic cognac for 30 minutes while Alberto ran around the city looking for a cash machine that worked at 2am. And so our weekend went... revisiting our favorite drinking spots and enjoying the lively Brussels night life. The weather even cooperated. It was perfect.

Before that though, my wonderful colleagues planned a going-away dinner for me last Thursday at our favorite restaurant in Brussels. I can't even begin to describe how much I'm going to miss having these people, including those who left the lab before me, as part of my daily life. Not only are they all great scientists, they are also amazing people, many of whom have become dear friends, and I consider myself lucky to have met each of them. It's not always so common to be able to work with people that you really get along with. We've traveled together and had fun together and experienced frustrations together. We've fought and gossiped and been the much needed lunch-break company for one another. The people in the lab feel more like family to me than colleagues and I'm going to miss them, and the atmosphere we created, a lot. I'm really going to miss Goedele and her encyclopedic knowledge about... well, everything, and our amusing lunch-time chatter. And I'm going to miss Adriano, who feels like the cool and somewhat crazy kid brother you always wished you had.

But after the fare-well dinner, I still had goodbyes to say.

Bruno and I had one last goodbye drink on Wednesday. He's been a superb example of a dedicated, passionate scientist of the highest integrity, and I feel honored that I was able to work with him and absorb even a fraction of his knowledge.

My friend Delphine and I had a goodbye dinner on Wednesday evening as well. She's been a great source of non-academia related friendship for me. I met her through Meike, and I must say, Delphine is an awesome sport about taking my and Meike's bitching about all of the frustrating things in Belgium! But more than that, I've loved our conversations about life in general, about what's important in life, and how people find a balance, as well as our conversations about culture and how our different backgrounds have shaped us and how we can learn and grow from other cultures we've experienced. I love contemplating these things, and there's no better partner for contemplation than Delphine.

And tonight, well tonight will be the hardest goodbye yet with the three girls who have become like sisters to me here in Brussels: Ola, Esther and Sanni.

Ola and I met in French class a few months after I moved to Brussels and it just happens that she's an academic too... a real scientist... a biologist. She's been an amazing friend, the kind that accompanies you to not-so-pleasant hospital visits, and enjoys it because she's a biologist! And with her dry humor and call-it-like-it-is approach to life, she's an awesome reality check, not to mention a source of constant entertainment.

Esther and I became close about a year and a half ago when she was going through a rough patch. I was lucky enough to meet her mother too, la mamma Cubana! Esther has taught me a lot about Cuba, a place that is usually either completely revered or vilified on the international front, depending on which country's opinion you want to consider, and a place that I had no real previous knowledge of. She's also taught me a lot about love and life from a different cultural perspective, and one that will probably help prepare me for life in Italy!

And finally, Sanni. Sanni is an amazing woman with whom I wish I had more time to spend. I met her too recently, but she's one of those people with whom I was able to fall comfortably and almost immediately into a deep friendship. I consider myself extremely lucky that she was around when I had some tough decisions to make this year. She's the type of person with whom you can laugh one second and cry the next and know that you will never be judged.

Of course, I can't not mention Meike. She left Belgium a few months before me so it's not officially a goodbye but my own departure makes me feel that I'm leaving behind part of our relationship, and she was probably the most important person for me here. We met in the lab, and somehow became instant friends...it's weird how these things work sometimes. My drinking partner, my Belgian beer and fry and waffle buddy, my hair stylist and my best friend in this country, she's the person that I could talk to about anything and everything.  For me, my time in Belgium will always bring back memories of Meike and I, whether it be singing Bon Jovi songs at the top of our lungs at 3am on the empty streets of the city, preparing an overambitious Thanksgiving dinner, or just watching bad American TV as we prepare for a night out. Belgium hasn't been the same for me since she left.

Of course, there are many, many other friends and acquaintances and colleagues and classmates and teachers who have made my stay in Belgium an unforgettable experience. So to each and every one, I choose to say an Italian "arrivederci" or a French "au revoir" which both translate to "until we meet again", rather than goodbye, because I truly hope we will meet again many times.